Thursday, February 26, 2009


I am new to all this so bare with me........

I have been in a relationship off and on for almost a year now. This love affair is what we will call it, has been a roller coaster of emotion from day one! I was looking he wasn't but we made it work and loved every second of it....until what everyone else would say the new wore off! But does that have to happen? I have seen so many family, friends, stay connected and true to each other for years....but is it society that is creeping in on all of us to fail?!? So, where do we go when we are constantly reminded that if it doesn't work move on???

I have feelings that I have never felt before. The kind where my stomach is in knots and the thought of not spending the rest of my life with this person feels like the end of the world. Am I alone? Is there truth to all of this? What am I supposed to do? There is nothing worse then a friend telling you oh you can do better! Cause I know in my heart if they felt for a second the heartache I do...they would be eating those words! I can't do better because I don't want to! So if I can give a little bit of advice to those so called "friends" it would be.....if you don't want to be lied to, stop lying to yourself!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


There are so many questions that I have for life in general.......

Problem is there isn't a book in this world that has all the answers for my questions, and if I hear one more person tell me that it's the Bible then I am really gonna lose it! I'm not saying at all that I don't have faith in God, I am just simply stating that the Bible is nothing but a piece of literature that was created to persuade. Persuade to believe in a higher power that we don't even know exists until we die. Correct me if I am wrong.

I do believe that I am a fun, loving, caring person that does nothing in life but spread myself to thin. Constantly trying to please everyone, not ever taking time for me until I can't take it anymore and immediately I am wanting a drink! I have never felt what its like to not be stressed out!! I want to feel like I have a purpose, yes I know we all have a purpose but when do we get to FEEL it?

Lost....lost is where I am currently. Two steps forward and three steps back. True, true that I love to two step, but not backwards! So what now? Do I keep on doing what I do best? Please, plan, re-arrange my life so everyone else is happy? Or do I take a risk, isolate myself....and possibly never be happy or know my purpose?